Friendships come and go, but building new, meaningful ones as an adult can feel daunting. And it’s even harder with age. Unlike in childhood or adolescence, where you meet new people through school or activities, adulthood doesn’t offer as many natural opportunities to connect. Timing is another factor—research shows it takes 50 hours to form a casual friendship, 90 hours to develop a natural bond, and 200 hours to consider someone a close friend. With the limited free time that comes with being an adult, the idea of investing in new friendships can feel impossible.
Despite the challenges, most adults would love new friendships if they could have them. In fact, many of the closest adult friendships are formed later in life because you’re more sure of who you are and what you value. This clarity allows you to connect with people with similar interests, values, and lifestyles. Finding common ground can make meeting new people and developing deeper relationships much easier. But building those deep connections takes time, effort, and the right mindset. Knowing where to find potential friends and how to nurture those relationships is key to having lasting friendships as an adult.
Why Is It So Hard to Make Friends as an Adult?
Making friends as an adult is hard for many reasons. One of the biggest is the limited free time that comes with being an adult. Between work, family, and other commitments, finding the time to invest in new friendships can feel impossible. As adults, we are more secure in our identities and more particular about who we spend our time with. This selectiveness can make it harder to form new connections as we may be less willing to invest in relationships that don’t align with our values and interests right away.
We also carry emotional baggage from past experiences. Past hurts or disappointments can make us more guarded and make it harder to open up to new people. Societal expectations and programming often prioritize romantic relationships and career success over friendships, leaving little room for meaningful connections.
But it’s important to remember that making friends as an adult is possible. It requires being open, taking risks, and investing time and effort into new relationships. By knowing the obstacles and actively looking for opportunities to connect with others, you can form meaningful and lasting friendships that enhance your adult life.
1. Reconnect with Old Friends
When trying to expand your social circle, it may seem counterintuitive to reconnect with old friends, but reconnecting with old friends can be a great way to deepen relationships. Life takes people in different directions, whether it’s moving to a new city, pursuing other careers, or just being at different life stages. However, friendship can be easily rekindled if it has a good foundation. Sometimes, all it takes is a message or a chance encounter to re-ignite a connection that’s been dormant for years.
This can also apply to acquaintances – people you’ve met before but never really got to know. Maybe you were colleagues who never spent time together outside of work or someone in your social circle you didn’t connect with as deeply as others. As time passes and situations change, the common ground you now share can create a new and deeper friendship. What was a casual interaction can become a meaningful connection as you get to know each other better.
Reconnecting with someone from your past gives you a sense of familiarity and shared history, making it easier to build trust and deepen the relationship. Plus, you already know you share some common interests or experiences, so conversations flow more naturally. Taking the initiative to reconnect with an old friend or acquaintance might surprise you and lead to a fulfilling friendship that enhances your current social life.
This also reminds us that not all friendships have to start from scratch – sometimes, looking back can open doors to the strong connections we want in the present. Friendships should be allowed to happen organically, not forced, as natural connections often lead to more lasting and meaningful relationships.
Family Members
Building relationships with family members is a big part of making friends as an adult. Family members give you a sense of belonging and connection that can be especially comforting when you feel lonely or isolated. Reconnecting with old friends or acquaintances who are also family members can lead to deeper and more meaningful relationships. For example, you might find an old friend who is a cousin or sibling who has grown and changed in ways that make your relationship more compatible and fulfilling.
Strengthening relationships with family members can also give you a sense of stability and support, which is priceless during stressful or uncertain times. Family bonds are built on a foundation of shared history and experiences, so it’s easier to trust and rely on each other. By investing time and effort into these relationships, you can create a support network that benefits your overall well-being.
Plus, family gatherings and events are natural opportunities to spend time together and deepen your connections. Whether it’s a holiday celebration, a family reunion, or a casual get-together, these occasions allow you to bond over shared memories and create new ones. Building strong relationships with family members can add to your social circle and be a foundation for lifelong friendships.
2. Connect with Friends of Friends to Make New Friends
When moving to a new city or wanting to expand your social circle, one of the easiest and most effective ways to meet new people is to connect with friends or join social groups. Even if you don’t know anyone directly in your area, chances are your current friends know people who live nearby. Don’t be afraid to ask for introductions. Making friends doesn’t have to be about being the most outgoing person – it’s more about being open to opportunities and putting yourself out there.
This works well, especially in new cities. Starting over in a new place can feel overwhelming, but reaching out to a mutual friend gives you instant common ground. You’ll already have something to discuss, whether it’s shared experiences with your mutual friend or recommendations for things to do in the area. People generally enjoy helping others make connections more than setting someone up on a date, as there’s less pressure involved.
To make the most of this approach, you need to be willing to say yes more often, even when it’s easier to stay in. You don’t have to give up your self-care routine or sacrifice alone time, but being open to new experiences – especially in social situations – will naturally lead to meeting new people. Attend that casual dinner, join the group for a weekend hike, or simply grab coffee with a friend’s friend. Often, the best friendships come from saying yes to unexpected opportunities.
By leveraging your existing social network, you can make new friends easier. A mutual friend can break the ice and before you know it you may be forming lifelong connections in places where you once felt like a stranger.
Meet New People at Social Events
Meeting new people at social events is a great way to make friends as an adult. Social events are a relaxed and fun environment where you can connect with others with similar interests and values. Whether it’s a party, a networking event, a community festival, or a volunteer opportunity, these events are full of opportunities to meet new people.
When attending social events, be open and approachable. Share about yourself and show genuine interest in others. This openness can build a strong connection and create meaningful relationships. For example, at a networking event, you might meet someone who shares your professional interests, and that’s a valuable connection and a potential friendship.
Social events are also a low-pressure way to meet new people, so you can take risks and put yourself out there. Unlike more formal settings, social events encourage casual conversation and interaction, so you can get to know others in a more relaxed environment. By attending these events regularly, you’ll increase your chances of meeting like-minded people and forming lifelong friendships.
3. Turning Coworkers into Friends
Work is more than just a place to get things done—it’s also a great place to meet new friends. If there’s a coworker you’d like to spend time with outside of work, consider turning that professional relationship into a personal one. While maintaining a work-life balance is important, the office is full of people who already have something in common, such as shared passions, interests, or career goals. This common ground can make building a friendship feel more organic.
If asking a coworker out for drinks or a weekend activity feels too big, start small. Suggest having lunch together during the workday or grabbing coffee after a meeting. Small gestures like this allow you to get to know your coworkers outside the structured office environment and see each other in a more relaxed personal setting. As conversations naturally shift away from work, you’ll discover shared hobbies, values, or experiences that could spark a deeper connection.
The key is to take it slow—there’s no need to force a friendship. Let it develop organically through shared experiences, whether at lunch or after-work events, and you’ll have a solid foundation for a lifelong relationship. And who knows, you might just find your next office bestie—someone who gets the daily grind and shares your interests outside of the office.
4. Start Conversation at Workout Classes
Workout classes aren’t just good for your body – they’re also a social scene where friendships form. Many people have met friends while taking Pilates, during a spin class, or even on the treadmill at Barry’s Bootcamp. However, striking up a conversation with someone at the gym or in a fitness class can feel daunting. But remember, most people are open to being approached in this setting – mainly when the conversation flows naturally from a shared experience.
The best part about meeting people in a workout class is that you already have a conversation starter. You can ask them about their favorite instructors, ask about other classes they take, or simply compliment them—something as simple as saying how great their new leggings look can break the ice. Compliments are a great way to open the door to further conversation and create a relaxed and positive interaction.
People attend fitness classes week in and week out, so there is a natural opportunity to build rapport over time. Starting with casual chats before or after class could lead to a post-class smoothie or coffee, and when you share a common interest in fitness, there’s plenty to talk about—new workout techniques, class recommendations, or health tips.
Go for it. The social atmosphere of workout classes is a great place to meet new people, and a simple conversation can start a new friendship.
5. Join a Local Group at the Local Community Centre
From Facebook groups to book clubs, there’s a group for everything these days. Whether you love travel, fitness, or parenting, joining a group that aligns with your interests is one of the best ways to meet like-minded people and form meaningful connections. These groups provide common ground so you can start conversations and find people you click with.
Joining a book club is a great way to meet like-minded people and form new friendships.
If travel is your thing, look into local travel groups or even organized group trips. For new parents, mom or dad groups are a great way to connect with others in the same life stage. The shared experience creates an instant bond so you can relate and understand each other.
Fitness and hobby groups like running clubs, hiking groups, or photography classes are also great ways to meet new friends. Being part of a group that meets regularly around a shared interest increases your chances of forming connections as you consistently interact with others who enjoy the same activity. Over time, those regular interactions can naturally turn into deeper friendships.
What’s great about joining a group is that it takes the pressure off. You’re not forcing connections—everyone is there for the same reason, whether it’s to discuss a book, share travel experiences, or tackle a challenging hike together. Joining a group related to your lifestyle or passions means you’ll meet people who understand your interests and values, making you more likely to find lasting friendships.
6. Join a Sports League
Sports leagues in major cities are a great way to meet new people and stay active. Whether it’s a recreational softball league, a soccer team, or the ever-popular pickleball, these leagues bring together people who share the same passion for the sport. Like local groups and workout classes, joining a sports league is a natural and fun way to connect with others.
If you already play a sport, this is a great chance to dust off old equipment and get back into the game. But even if you’re new to a sport, joining a league is a great way to challenge yourself and make new friends. You can sign up solo or bring a friend along, but going solo often opens up more opportunities to meet people you wouldn’t have met otherwise.
The beauty of sports leagues is they foster teamwork and camaraderie, so friendships develop through shared experiences on the field or court. Plus, the post-game gatherings and casual hangouts give you even more opportunities to bond with your teammates outside the game. Whether you’re joining to improve your skills or just for the social aspect, sports leagues are a fun and dynamic way to expand your social circle while having healthy competition.
7. Volunteer to Build Real Friendships
Volunteering is not only good for the soul but also a great way to meet new people. Whether it’s charity events or local organizations, volunteering puts you in touch with people who are passionate about the same causes. This shared purpose gives you an instant common ground to start conversations and connect with like-minded people.
If you’re passionate about a particular cause – whether it’s environmental conservation, animal welfare, or community service – volunteering gives you the opportunity to meet people who care deeply about the same things. You may not become besties with everyone you meet, but you can always build real relationships with others who share your values.
Even if the friendships don’t last forever, volunteering has its own rewards. The experience of giving back and being part of something bigger than yourself is incredibly fulfilling. The connections you make along the way – whether temporary or long-term—enhance that experience. Volunteering is a great way to expand your social circle while making a positive impact on a community or cause you care about.
8. Use Apps & Go to Meetups
In today’s world, there’s an app for everything, including making friends. If you want to expand your social circle, friendship apps like Bumble for Friends make it easy to meet people looking to make new connections. Unlike dating apps, the focus here is purely on building friendships, so starting a conversation feels more natural and relaxed. Plus, the app prompts give you a glimpse into the person’s interests and personality so you can find people you’ll click with.
MeetUp is another platform that connects you with people in your local area who share your hobbies and interests. It’s a great way to learn about events, workshops, or gatherings in your area, from hiking groups to art classes. By attending these meetups, you get to do something you love and connect with others who share the same experience.
Using apps to meet new people takes the pressure off, as everyone is there for the same reason—to make friends. Whether swiping to find like-minded people or signing up for a local event through MeetUp, these platforms are an easy and low-stress way to connect with others and expand your social circle.
9. Connect on Social Media
While social media is often blamed for reducing real-life interactions, it can actually be a powerful tool for forming real friendships—if used correctly. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, or even LinkedIn can help you connect with people in your area, send them a direct message (DM), and arrange to meet up. It’s a modern and often more comfortable way to start friendships, especially for those who are too shy to approach someone in person.
Social media is also a great way to reconnect with old friends. You might run into someone from your past, start a conversation online, and re-discover a shared connection that leads to a deeper friendship. Online space is a low-pressure environment in which to catch up and rekindle those connections.
For many people, building a community on Instagram has led to meeting new friends. You can organically form relationships by engaging with people who share your interests or commenting on local events and posts. Whether it’s through shared hobbies, mutual friends, or community groups, social media makes it easier to find people who share your lifestyle and passions and turn online acquaintances into real-life connections.
